


Fists of black and blue (2.0)

by RiverTron



Series: FOBAB [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:59:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverTron/pseuds/RiverTron
Summary: When Evan Hansen stumbles upon Connor Murphy punching his locker he isn't surprised. What does surprises him are the tears in Connor's eyes and the blood running down his knuckles, meaning he's been punching for a long time.Evan rushes over and grabs Connor's arm hearing his gasp of surprise before Evan is roughly shoved to the ground by Connor.Evan isn't sure why when he stands back up he doesn't run, but instead asks Connor if he's okay.





	Fists of black and blue (2.0)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NyanStreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyanStreak/gifts).



> Hi guys!!! River here!! So this is the remake of FOBAB and I am feeling a bit better!!! Still a bit on edge and sad about the situation I'm in but that's to be expected, thank you all for your kind messages and kudos!!!
> 
> PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING BELOW!!!  
> This isn't what the original FOBAB was. I understand that and I'm sorry. This is it. I did as best as I could to accomplish this much. I know it's not much but there it is  
> 1.) I'm out of the dear Evan Hansen fandom, I've recently gotten into the Detroit: Become Human fandom  
> 2.) I don't have many friends anymore. I have my girlfriend,shes amazing, but we can't talk much at the moment for private reasons. Other than that I'm alone. I hate being alone.  
> 3.) My Kik is still: That_One_Birdy if anyone has any further questions

Evan's ears start ringing as soon as he hears the familiar sound of fists clashing into metal, it happens almost every day and for hours at a time. It's become a routine, Connor Murphy storms out of his class and angrily punches a locker. Some people have said that he punches it so many times that they get used to the sound and when he's finally stopped by administration or simply storms out of school all together it's weird to hear only silence, with the occasional pass of a teacher. Evan doesn't find the loud  **BANG** annoying, he finds them scary. He is scared of Connor Murphy. It's not uncommon to be scared of him, all the freshmen and even some Sophomores are. But Evan Hansen is not a Freshman or a Sophomore, he's a Senior and he knows why he's scared of Connor. It's not like Evan doesn't know about his social anxiety, he's known since a year after his dad left when Evan was only 8 years old. His mom only got him into therapy two years ago, when she had came home early from work to surprise him, only to find Evan propped up against his headboard and struggling to breathe.

As Connor comes into view he freezes in his spot, Connor Murphy is stood in front of Evan's locker, punching it repeatedly, Evan isn't that surprised. What does surprise Evan are the blood streams that run down Connors arms, leading from his hands, and dripping off of his elbow and onto the tiled floor of the nearly empty hallway. Connor punches lockers but Connor has never gone as far as to bleed from it, Evan only knows this because of Zoe. Evan and Zoe were friends, he had realized he didn't actually like Zoe when their friendship started. Evan liked her company, her sense of humor, her looks, her bravery, her perfect way she played the guitar, her great taste in music, and her great ability to make friends, but he just didn't like  _Zoe._ When Evan tried explaining this to Jared he was brushed aside with a simple "God, you're weird." as Jared launched into his story of some random fight that broke out in his first period. 

Before Evan knows what's happening he's sprinting over to Connor, grabbing Connor's wrist as his fist collides with the locker once more. Before Evan can open his mouth he's on the floor with pain shooting through his back and broken arm. Connor had shoved him to the ground. Connor Murphy, who was bleeding from his hand, had pushed Evan Hansen to the ground. Evan should be scared, he should run into the nearest bathroom and hide until the end of the day, he should be on the verge of a panic attack, which he is so that's normal at least, but he stands up. He gets shakily to his feet and look's up at the shaking Connor. "Are you okay?" is the weak question that travels out of Evan's mouth, his voice cracking embarrassingly half way through. Evan clears his throat. "I'm fucking _fabulous,_ thanks for asking" Connor spits out through gritted teeth, his fists clenching at his sides. "You're bleeding..." Evan muttered. Connor looked at him like he was stupid. "no shit Sherlock." He said simply.

Evan isn't sure how to respond, so he doesn't. He stands there like an idiot as Connor stares down at him. Evan shifts his gaze to his bleeding hand. "Y-You should uh, go to the nurse" He says quickly, mentally kicking himself for shrinking and stuttering under Connor's gaze. "Yeah I probably should. But fuck that, she always asks me some dumb ass questions. "are you okay?" and " how are things at home?" gets me pissed off." He said and paused as he if was regretting ever talking to Evan. "How are...uh...how  _are_ things at home?" Evans asks hesitantly. "how is that any of  _your_ business?" Connor spits out. Evan's gaze fixes to the floor again. "I'm sorry" He says quickly, he can feel his voice getting breathy and uneven. He can feel the panic attack coming. "I uh- I have to go" He pants out. Then he's running. He doesn't know where but he's running, he doesn't stop until his legs give out. That's when he finally notices where he is, he's in the boys bathroom. The same bathroom where he had that panic attack in freshman year. The same bathroom he's refused to sit in. Now history is to repeat itself as Evan’s breathing grows shakier. 

Evan reaches for his backpack only to realize it isn’t next to him. His throat feels like someone has their hands around his neck, they’re squeezing so hard that Evan begins to choke. With shaking arms and legs he crawls himself into a large stall, slamming the door closed and not caring if it flung back open. Evan then began dry retching into the dirty school toilet,having not eaten the whole day there was nothing to throw up. His eyes closed as tears fell down his cheeks, he knew no one would come for him, not like last time when Jared had found him. He would have to deal with this by himself. Evan shakily places a hand on the flusher and presses down, watching as the water swirls and disappears, only to be replaced by cleaner water.  _What a metaphor._ Evan thinks as he forces his legs to stand, he’s like that water. Dirty and replaceable. Evan washes his hands. 

* * *

 

Evan isn’t sure when he leaves the bathroom, but when he does he crashes into someone trying to get into it. He falls onto the floor and instantly apologizes. “My god, I pushed _you_ and bumped into  _you_ and you apologize.” Says a familiar voice. He looks up at Connor, he’s carrying two bags and his hair is pulled back into a messy bun with bits of hair falling onto the sides of his face. His hand is now smeared with dry blood and he has a band aid over one of the larger cuts. Evan doesn’t speak, he doesn’t know what to say and even if he did he doubts he’ll be able too. “Uh...here.” Connor says and drops one of the bags next to Evan, only now realizing that it was his. “Thanks” Evan mutters, looking down at the floor after realizing he’s been staring at Connor. "I'm sorry." Evan hears, the two words surprising him enough that he looks up. "For uh, pushing you earlier." Connor rushes to complete, almost tripping over his words. Evan pulls himself off the ground, slinging his back pack over his shoulders. "It's okay, i shouldn't have grabbed you like that" Evan explained. Connor's eyes met his again, seemingly searching for any trace of a lie. Evan, though nervous, didn't look away and tried not to shrink under his gaze again.

"I've...been trying to be a better person recently, I know that sounds like the funniest fucking thing you've ever heard seeing as I pushed you this morning. But I'm...really trying." Connor explained, Evan could physically see how hard Connor was trying to keep his voice level. Evan nods at Connor to keep going. "So...I would like to ask to sign your cast." He said all in one breath. Evan pauses before wordlessly handing Connor a sharpie out of his back pocket. Connor uncaps it with his mouth and keeps the cap between his teeth, grabbing Evans arm and making Evan release a small sound of pain. Connor glances up at him. 

Connor brings the tip of the sharpie down and begins to sign, big block letters spell out  **C-O-N-N-O-R** , it almost takes up the whole cast. Connor then pauses and begins to scribble down something underneath the huge letters in relatively smaller print. Wordlessly, he caps the marker and pushes it into Evans arm. "There. Now we can both pretend we have friends." He says simply and walks off. Evan glances down at the handwriting, under the signature is a number. A phone number. Connor Murphy just gave him his phone number. 

**Author's Note:**

> So!!! That's it!!! sorry it still kinda sucks im a shit writer


End file.
